Chapter Ninety-Four: Return to Kunlun

When I returned to Hundred Blossoms Island, I said nothing, silently making flower cakes and snow pear pastries. I missed my senior brothers; I missed the Jade Purity Realm of Kunlun. Yet I was afraid to return, afraid to find things unchanged but people gone, afraid to see all that was familiar but not his silhouette.

“Little Crow, go back and see it, and bring Little White too,” Spring Breeze said.

“Spring Breeze, I don’t want to bring Little White,” I replied quietly.

Spring Breeze’s eyebrows shot up. “What did you say? You must bring Little White! If you want him to grow up well, let him see your master’s Jade Purity Realm!”

“I don’t want him to learn immortal arts or formations. I’m afraid he’ll become merciless,” I said.

“You think Little White is decisive and ruthless, like Mingzhong, don’t you?” Spring Breeze asked.

“Yes! I’m afraid he’ll become another bloodthirsty demon,” I said.

“You’re used to your master’s kind eyes and immortal bearing, but did you know he could kill without a second thought?” Spring Breeze went on.

I had never seen my master kill. When he rescued me from the Netherworld, I was in a daze—it must have been a bloody battle. I only remember, when the third princess of the Heavenly Palace tried to threaten him with me, the cold light that flashed in his eyes. In one move, he destroyed the princess’s divine artifact, the Ring of Heaven’s Captivity.

“But he never killed the wrong person. Because he was filled with righteousness, because he bore the duty of the Divine Judge. Little White is a child with a pure heart; he sees protecting you as his duty, and he’s not wrong,” Spring Breeze said.

“Yet Mingzhong also killed a woman who tried to kill me. He protected me too. So am I supposed to love him for it?” I cried out in anguish.

“Forget that bastard. I’ll help you take revenge on the battlefield. Little White isn’t like him! He’s the child of me, Spring Breeze, and the child of Lord Clouds Above. Love him as you would love all living things…” Spring Breeze tried to persuade me, his words gentle and earnest.

I quietly continued making the snow pear syrup… Seeing I wouldn’t speak, Spring Breeze tried to cheer me up.

When I finished the pastries, I bowed to Spring Breeze in a grand gesture of respect.

“Little Crow, what are you doing!” Spring Breeze was startled.

“You are my senior uncle. You deserve it,” I said, kneeling before him.

Spring Breeze had cared for me and Little White as both kin and benefactor. Like him, Spring Breeze was tolerant, generous, warm-hearted, and upright to the core.

“I don’t want to be your senior uncle!” Spring Breeze pulled me up at once.

Spring Breeze picked up Little White and said I was having mood swings because of early menopause and told me to apologize to Little White.

“Daddy, what’s menopause?” Little White asked.

“It’s when women get older and act strangely for no reason,” Spring Breeze explained.

“But my mother is very young.”

“She’s early.”

Spring Breeze’s excuse made me laugh and cry at once.

“Daddy and mommy will take you to your second uncle’s house, all right?” Spring Breeze asked Little White.

“Yes! I want to go to Second Uncle’s study!” Little White said excitedly.

“Spring Breeze, I’ll go in the guise of an old woman. I just want to see everyone,” I told Spring Breeze.

I admitted my mistake to Little White, confessed to early menopause and losing my mind. Little White hugged me and said it was all right, that I’d only gotten angry because I missed his father too much. This child was so forgiving toward me.

Five hundred years after leaving the Jade Purity Realm, I finally summoned the courage to set foot once more on the path to Kunlun’s Jade Purity Realm. As I retraced the old road, I felt again the cool breeze of Kunlun…

Ascending once more to the Cliff of Pursuing Immortality, I stood at its edge for a long time, gazing up at the Heavenly Rift… The waters of the Heavenly River had grown swift, cracks had appeared in the rift—could you see them?

I turned, looking at the distant clouds on the horizon. If I turn my back to the Heavenly Waters, will you stand beside me, mending the rift as before? Just as we once stood back to back…

Snowflakes drifted down from the sky, twinkling… I caught one in my hand—it was snow I hadn’t seen in five hundred years, fragments of the mysterious crystal you used to mend the rift!

“Master!” I spun around in joy to see behind me, only to find a small, upright figure… Little White, facing the crack in the sky, casting a spell!

“Little White! What are you doing!” I shouted, pulling him to me.

“Mother, I’m mending the Heavenly Rift with the Cloud-Gathering Technique,” Little White replied.

He was mending the rift! This child was using the Cloud-Gathering Technique to mend the Heavenly Rift! Amazed, I looked at this small boy, then glanced at Spring Breeze standing in the distance, who waved his folding fan and pointed at himself.

“Did Spring Breeze teach you?” I asked Little White.

“Yes. Daddy said that before Second Uncle went to war, he taught him the Cloud-Gathering Technique because he wanted Daddy to find the right person to mend the rift. Daddy couldn’t handle it well, and neither could the senior brothers of Jade Purity Realm. So Daddy taught me instead, to help Second Uncle in the future,” Little White explained.

I had the foundation of the Cloud-Gathering Technique. When I was in the Jade Purity Realm, Master tried to have me mend the rift, but I could never do it. For these five hundred years, it had been Spring Breeze and the senior brothers who barely managed to patch it up. Every time he returned from mending the rift, he’d be chilled to the bone and ill for days. I never imagined that Little White, at such a young age, could do what none of us could!

“When did Daddy teach you?” I asked.

“Yesterday,” Little White replied.

“Yesterday!” I was taken aback. “Do you feel unwell?”

“I’m fine. Mother, the crack over there has healed. If the weather weren’t so warm right now, I could mend even more,” Little White said, pointing at the sky above the Heavenly Waters.

Indeed, there were signs of new healing in the rift. Looking at this small child before me, a shock ran through my heart—could it be that some early spark of Master’s soul had fallen into this child? He truly resembled him—so very much!

My longing overwhelmed me, and I hugged Little White tightly. To hell with Mingzhong! Let him die! Little White is my child, Spring Breeze’s child, the child of Lord Clouds Above!

I had Little White bow respectfully to the Thirty-Three Heavens and said to him, “Long ago, your mother learned the Cloud-Gathering Technique and became a disciple of the Jade Purity Realm. Now you’ve learned it too, so you are also a disciple of the Jade Purity Realm. From now on, you must never do anything to let down Lord Clouds Above, the Jade Purity Realm, or your own true heart.”

“Yes, Mother!” he promised.

Walking through the Jade Purity Realm, the majestic and ancient Jade Void Palace drew ever closer…

“I have returned… You must return too…” I stroked the grand doors of the palace hall, empty within… That was where he always sat…

“You once kept me outside these doors, you once ascended the throne and accepted me as your disciple, personally bestowed upon me the Jade Purity Dragon Seal… You once sat there, preaching the Dao… You once entered carrying me in your arms, proudly, bearing my kiss upon your cheek… Fei’er still wants to see you sitting there, drinking tea…” I spoke to him in my heart.

“Uncle, you’re here! Little White and Grandma are here too! Everyone’s busy in the kitchen,” Eleventh Brother came out to greet us.

“What’s going on in the kitchen?” Spring Breeze asked.

“They heard you were bringing Little White and Grandma, so they’re preparing a meal,” Eleventh Brother said.

“So early for a meal! I brought you food myself! Here!” Spring Breeze threw a packet of flower cakes to Eleventh Brother.

Following Eleventh Brother through the corridor to the kitchen in the rear courtyard… Everything was just as it had been… Nothing seemed to have changed.

Eleventh Brother Ding Mao, Twelfth Brother Zi Chan, Thirteenth Brother Luo Hui, Fourteenth Brother Chu Fang, Fifteenth Brother Gui Bin… All were there, except for Brother Kunpeng, busy at the Eastern Sea, and that traitor… Everyone else was bustling about, happy as ever. Spring Breeze rushed in, and chaos erupted immediately. Just like every New Year’s Eve, when everyone would crowd into the kitchen, making a mess, until Fourteenth Brother and I chased them all out. Then he and I would cook a sumptuous New Year’s feast for everyone… The commotion would last until midnight…

“Come out and have tea and snacks, I’ll make them,” I said.

“Grandma is our honored guest, brought by Uncle. Please take the seat of honor. We’ll handle things,” Fifteenth Brother said humbly. As acting sect leader, he’d grown ever more dignified.

“All of you, get out! You never made such a fuss for me! But for these two, you go to all this trouble? Is my status so low? Come eat! I guarantee you’ll like it!” Spring Breeze feigned annoyance as he shooed them all out.

The Jade Purity Realm was just as it had been, as if Master were merely in seclusion. I picked through the vegetables in the kitchen, watching the senior brothers outside, laughing and teasing Little White. They all said Little White looked just like Spring Breeze, the handsomest child under heaven.

“Uncle, I have to say it—you won’t like it—but I think Little White looks more like Master,” Eleventh Brother blurted out.

At the mention of “Master,” everyone fell silent…

“Nonsense! I’m his elder brother! Of course my son looks like him! Eat your cakes! If you don’t, I’ll break your rabbit legs!” Spring Breeze shouted at Eleventh Brother.

“What’s with these cakes…” Fifteenth Brother examined one carefully.

“Eat!” said Spring Breeze.

Everyone took a bite, chewed twice, and then couldn’t bear to swallow.

“Eat, Ding Mao! Didn’t you say you wanted these? I specially had Little… Little White’s grandma make them!” Spring Breeze nearly let something slip.

Eleventh Brother, holding the cake, began to weep. “Uncle, these cakes are exactly like the ones little Brother Fei made! They taste exactly the same!”

“Uncle, we miss Master, we miss our little brother…” Fifteenth Brother choked up.

“Yes! They’re the same!” Everyone began to sob and embrace one another.

At that moment, how I wished I could hug each one of them and say, “It’s me! Yu Fei! I’m still alive! I miss you all too—so much…” But how could I face them? Their little Brother Yu Fei was a woman, who had married Mingzhong and bore Little White. How could they accept, or ever forgive, so many years of deception?

Meeting again is not as sweet as remembering… I carried the prepared dishes to them, held back the words I wanted to say, and forced a smile as I comforted them, “Why is everyone crying? It’s not good for your health to eat in tears… Listen to Grandma, be good… Don’t cry. If you want to eat anything, Grandma will come and cook for you.”

“Thank you, Grandma,” the brothers replied, wiping their tears.

Twelfth Brother took a bite of the food. “This taste—I haven’t had it in centuries. The last time was when little…” He stopped mid-sentence, tears streaming down again, and buried himself in eating.

“Grandma, join us for the meal,” Spring Breeze and the others invited me.

Unable to refuse, I joined them at the table.

“Uncle, you’ve enjoyed a life of luxury—why don’t you leave Grandma here to cook for us poor, neglected disciples?” Fifteenth Brother joked, breaking the somber mood.

“No way! You’re lucky to have even one meal!” Spring Breeze retorted.

“That’s right! And you never bring your wife here, Uncle. Let us see for ourselves what a peerless beauty Little White’s mother must be!” At the mention of Spring Breeze’s wife, Eleventh Brother’s chatter resumed.

“Next time,” Spring Breeze said with dignity.

I shot him a glare.

The lively scene felt just like five hundred years ago, like a dream, except he was missing…

After three rounds of wine and five courses, Spring Breeze had gotten the brothers thoroughly drunk.

“Little brother, your disguise as a woman this time is terrible! Old and ugly! Next time I’ll give you something pretty to wear!” Eleventh Brother slurred with a laugh, pointing at me.

“All right,” I replied.

“Little brother! You’re doing the dishes tonight!” Fourteenth Brother said, his eyes bleary with drink.

“All right,” I answered.

“Little brother, come see us often!” Sixteenth Brother said.

“All right,” I promised.

“Next time, bring Master!” Fifteenth Brother added.

“All right!” I forced back my tears.

Spring Breeze and I helped them all back to their rooms. Spring Breeze collapsed on a couch in the back hall, falling asleep with tears still at the corners of his eyes. He missed his younger brother.

“Mother, will you take me to Second Uncle’s study?” Little White tugged at my hand.

I took Little White to Master’s study. Everything was as it had been, not a speck of dust… As if the brush had just been set down, the zither just played…

“Wow! So many books!” Little White exclaimed, as if he’d found a treasure trove.

“Mother, I want to read the ‘Jade Void Art of War.’” Little White could barely reach it, nearly leaping for it—I’d never seen him so eager.

“Let me get it for you. Be careful turning the pages; don’t damage it,” I said, handing him the text.

“Got it.” Hugging the book, Little White was instantly engrossed. I moved to Master’s desk; his brushes, ink, paper, and inkstone were all still there. On the table lay the silk scroll he so often wrote in.

This silk scroll…