Chapter 20: You Know, I Like You

Lin Shenlu was a little absent-minded. It wasn’t until An Muxi sat beside him that he came back to himself. In that moment, he felt warmth spreading across his face and body—was it the glow from An Muxi next to him? He exhaled gently. They had shared several meals over the past two days, but tonight was different; there was an indescribable feeling in his heart.

The matsutake feast filled the air with its enticing aroma. Everyone ate heartily, lavishing praise on Lin Shenlu’s superb culinary skills. Even the boy Xu Xu was eating with gusto. Lin Shenlu savored the rare delicacies himself; the tender, springy texture of the matsutake, the fragrance swirling between mouth and nose—this was the true meaning of gourmet.

"Cheers! Thank you, Brother Lin Shenlu, for your wonderful cooking. You’ve worked so hard! This is better than any matsutake I’ve ever had in Dali!” Gu Mo Ning was slightly tipsy.

“Cheers, cheers!” Xu Xu hugged a bottle of Wangzai milk, gulping it down.

Lin Shenlu’s gaze, of course, lingered on An Muxi. Tonight, she ate with great satisfaction—it was the most she’d eaten since arriving in Dali. She had to admit, Lin Shenlu’s skills were truly unmatched. The rich chicken broth with matsutake, the tender steamed egg with matsutake, the buttery sautéed matsutake—all delicious. She couldn’t help but drink a few more glasses.

Lin Shenlu found his own state peculiar. In just an hour, he’d had only five or six bottles of beer, yet his mind was muddled, his face flushed—is this the prelude to drunkenness? This wasn’t his usual tolerance. Was it the wine, or was he drunk on something else? He took a deep breath, leaned back in his chair, and let the hand holding his cigarette fall open.

On his other side sat An Muxi. Lin Shenlu’s arm gently brushed against her back, feeling a smooth warmth. Even the lightest touch quickened his breathing. As he joked with Gu Mo Ning, An Muxi leaned gently toward him, pressing herself close.

It was as if Lin Shenlu was embracing her. He was so surprised he barely dared to breathe deeply. An Muxi didn’t hurry to pull away; she smiled, watching his complicated expression. Then she tilted her head, and with a playful gesture, pressed a grain of matsutake rice from her plate to the corner of his mouth.

Such an intimate gesture had never happened before! Lin Shenlu relaxed, his actions growing bolder. He let the hand on her back slide away, letting half the cigarette fall to the floor. Then he curled his fingers, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

Hmm… The tentative gesture met no resistance. Lin Shenlu’s heart bloomed. What did this mean? He stretched out his tongue, licking the grain of matsutake rice from the corner of his lips—sweet and fragrant.

…

Ten o’clock at night. The dinner was over, with little left behind. Another quiet night descended. Lin Shenlu put his arm around An Muxi’s shoulders as they stood by Erhai Lake outside the inn, gazing at the scenery. He smoked in silence; both were a little tipsy.

An Muxi seemed cold and leaned closer to him. They pressed even tighter together, his chin resting on her forehead.

“Mm… Your stubble tickles…” An Muxi leaned against him, her head spinning, eyes closed.

Lin Shenlu inhaled the gentle fragrance beneath his chin. This must be the most romantic scene by Erhai Lake.

“Do I really like her?” he asked himself.

“Will she agree to be with me?” His thoughts were a jumble.

It had been over a year since he’d held someone like this. The feeling was familiar, yet subtle. His movements were practiced, yet awkward…

He held her closer.

“Muxi…” After a long while, he seemed to gather his courage to speak.

“Hmm?” An Muxi opened her eyes slightly.

“You know… I like you.” His lips trembled as he spoke.

The girl in his arms stiffened.

“I… know. Everything you’ve done for me, these days we’ve spent together, your kindness, your warmth—it shines on me… Deep down, my instincts tell me… I don’t really resist you…” she whispered.

“Yes, I feel the same. My heart tells me every gesture of yours draws me in. Being with you makes me happy and comfortable,” Lin Shenlu replied softly.

“Will you… be my girlfriend?” he asked boldly.

Silence.

Ten seconds of silence.

An Muxi lowered her head in thoughtful silence.

“Muxi… I’m sorry, I was too impatient, please… don’t be angry,” Lin Shenlu suddenly became anxious.

Her expression changed noticeably. Of course—how could he expect her to agree after just a few days, based only on a handful of warm memories? He’d said what he shouldn’t, emboldened by drink.

But An Muxi gently slipped from his embrace. She shook her head, biting her lip. After a long pause, she spoke in a low voice, “Please give me some time. I can’t answer you right now. It’s not that I dislike you or reject you, but please give me some time, alright, Deer?”

Lin Shenlu was perplexed.

Why? Neither acceptance nor refusal, no agreement nor denial… This suspense was agonizing.

“Why? What are you waiting for?” he gently gripped her shoulders.

An Muxi tried to break free.

But Lin Shenlu, emboldened by alcohol, held fast.

“Don’t do this, I’m getting angry!” An Muxi suddenly pulled away, breaking his hold.

His hand was flung aside, but he felt his fingers catch on something.

“Ah!” An Muxi cried out, seeming hurt.

In the light, Lin Shenlu saw that a necklace was dangling from his hand—the pendant was a red four-leaf clover. It must be a Van Cleef & Arpels necklace, broken right off. No wonder An Muxi cried out in pain.

He remembered seeing the red pendant on her neck when she wore a dress before dinner.

“I’m sorry…” He hurriedly handed her the necklace, but the chain had snapped.

An Muxi made no move, no sound, only a low, choking sob.

“I told you… don’t force me…” she said, her voice tinged with tears.

Lin Shenlu tried to embrace her gently.

But An Muxi slipped away, head bowed, and walked silently toward the inn.

He followed, clutching the broken necklace.

She said nothing, kept her head down, went upstairs, opened the door, closed it…

The second night by Erhai Lake.

An Muxi leaned against the door, head raised, eyes closed, silent as she was the night before.

Lin Shenlu stood against the wall beside the door, smoking in silence.