Chapter Twenty-Four: Training Ichigo

Chapter 24: Training Ichigo

[Time: Noon]
[Location: School Rooftop]
[Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Lolita Kuchiki]

"Tell me, what do you want from me this time?" Ichigo asked, looking gloomily at the beautiful girl sitting on the rooftop steps, sipping yogurt.

"Oh, I watched your fight this morning. I have to say, your swordsmanship is..." Lolita pulled the straw from her mouth, looked up, and said to Ichigo, "hopelessly rotten!"

"Hah!" Upon hearing this, Ichigo fell flat on his face.

"Well, there are no classes this afternoon. Come with me." Lolita finished the boxed yogurt, tossed it away without even looking, and it sailed in an arc, landing perfectly in a trash can several meters away just as Ichigo stood up.

After glancing back at the impossibly accurate trajectory of the yogurt carton, Ichigo turned back to see Lolita walking away and hurriedly called out, "Hey! Wait for me!"

...

"This is..."

"Can't you tell? This is the venue I've chosen to... train you in."

"You definitely said 'train' just now, didn't you? You said it!" Ichigo stared intently at her with dead fish eyes. Seeing Lolita’s calm expression, he finally sighed helplessly, turned toward the dojo, and said, "You said this was a place to train me, but this is clearly the school's Kendo Club..."

"From today on, it won't be." With that, Lolita pulled her loose silver hair into a ponytail and walked inside.

"Huh!? Wait..." Not yet understanding what she meant, Ichigo watched Lolita enter and had no choice but to follow her in, dazed.

"Hah! Hah! Hah!"

As soon as he entered, Ichigo saw a group of Kendo club members holding bamboo swords, practicing their swings in unison to their own chants. A Kendo club... it was his first time ever stepping inside one.

"What are you staring at? Hurry up and come over..." Seeing Ichigo standing there in a daze, Lolita called out coolly, took off her shoes, and stepped onto the floor.

"Hey, what are you trying to do? Can't you tell me?" Ichigo followed, taking off his shoes and feeling uneasy—a feeling accompanied by a rather ominous premonition. A very accurate premonition, at that.

"Men!" As the two in the center sparred, one was defeated. The victor took off his mask, revealing a man with a somewhat mature, square face. Seeing the two newcomers, he paused briefly and walked over. "Hello, I am the Kendo Club captain, Daisuke Motomiya. Who are you? We are currently in the middle of practice. If there is nothing urgent, please leave. Outsiders are not allowed in here..."

"Ah, sorry, actually we..."

Seeing the man's sharp gaze, Ichigo's eyes flickered. Just as he was about to speak, Lolita interrupted him with a faint smile. "Hello, my name is Lolita Kuchiki, a student in Class 1-3. This is my classmate, Ichigo Kurosaki. It’s nothing serious, really; I just took a liking to this space the day before yesterday, and I’m here to congratulate you—your dojo has been requisitioned by me."

"Hey!" Why should she get what she wants just because she likes it? And 'congratulations'? Isn't that a provocation!?

"..." Unlike Ichigo's shocked expression, Daisuke Motomiya’s eyes turned sharp upon hearing Lolita’s words. He said solemnly, "Should I interpret your words, Miss Kuchiki, as..."

"To put it politely, it’s a requisition. To put it bluntly, it’s a challenge to your dojo. To put it harshly, it’s a seizure... interpret it however you like, but I am determined to have this dojo." Adjusting her glasses, Lolita said softly. Though her tone was willful, her steady voice carried clearly to the ears of every club member without sparking any resentment. Well, at least not toward her... Was everyone assuming the orange-haired boy who looked like a delinquent was the one forcing her to do this?

Watching the Kendo club members gradually closing in with hostile expressions, Ichigo twitched and shouted at Lolita, "Hey! What are you doing? Is this really okay? Grabbing territory? This isn't Monopoly..." Why am I the one getting glared at? I'm not some shield-bearing knight meant to attract aggro.

"I told you from the beginning, I am determined to get this place, and..." Lolita took off her glasses and shot Ichigo a calm glance. "According to school regulations, as long as it is within certain limits, if a challenger exceeds the chosen club's area of expertise, the winner gains all the club's facilities. Surely you knew that, didn't you?"

"Uh, I’ve never joined a club, how would I know..." Ichigo scratched his cheek awkwardly.

"You antisocial shut-in... all you do is go home early every day to 'beep—beep—'" Lolita smiled faintly.

"You have the least right to say that! You PSP witch! When do I ever go home to 'beep—beep'?"

...

"Are you really here to take over the dojo?" Looking at the pair, Kendo captain Daisuke Motomiya wore a playful smile. He glanced at Ichigo before turning back to Lolita. "So, Miss Kuchiki, is it? Even if a victory in a challenge grants you our facilities, however..."

"I know, according to the rules..." Lolita interrupted.

"Rules? What rules?"

Looking at the confused Ichigo, Daisuke explained, "If you win, our facilities are yours. But if you lose... wouldn't it be unfair to us if you didn't pay something in return?"

"Heh heh heh," Daisuke chuckled, and the surrounding Kendo members let out sinister laughs.

Seeing this, Ichigo opened his mouth, but Lolita spoke first: "If we win, the dojo is ours. If we lose, what do you want?"

"Straightforward!" Daisuke squinted his eyes, scanning Lolita from head to toe. "...Nothing much. If you lose, you have to stay and..."

"!?" Seeing the 'malicious' looks from the club members, Ichigo instinctively frowned and stepped in front of Lolita. This gesture made Lolita glance at him briefly with a faint smile before turning back to Daisuke. "Stay and do what?"

"Stay and, of course... become our club manager!" Daisuke raised his bamboo sword, shouting with high spirits. This caused Ichigo, who had expected a much more unreasonable demand, to relax slightly. "Club... manager?"

"Oooooh!" Upon hearing the captain's request, the Kendo members were moved to tears, cheering as if their national team had won a championship. Ichigo was left in a daze until Daisuke continued...

"Tracksuits! Braids! Glasses! Brass tea kettles... as expected, a club manager just has to have that aesthetic!"

"Captain! You're the best! The best!"

...

"Uh, isn't that a look from the last century? Plus, this is a Kendo club; isn't that more of a soccer or football club aesthetic..." Watching the excited club members, Ichigo muttered to himself. No wonder they were so hyped for a manager—that kind of 'exotic' attire could only be seen in old movies nowadays. No girl in her right mind would wear that... wait, he seemed to have forgotten that Lolita was born in the century before last, and was apparently a soul...

Just then, Lolita said calmly, "Fine, I accept..."

"Oof!" Ichigo punched himself in the chest. 'Retract my previous statement... though, from a certain perspective, this woman is no different from a ghost...'

"..." Ichigo shot a secret glance at Lolita.

Suddenly, Lolita turned around, reached out, and 'swiped away' Ichigo's thoughts. She said calmly, "You're sleeping in the hallway tonight."

"..." Ichigo looked at her in shock. 'Why suddenly...'

Lolita glanced at him and replied, "Because you called me a ghost with a combat power of 5..."

'...Wait! I only thought that! Is it not even allowed to think in my own head?'

"Yes, thinking it in your head is also not allowed..."

'Ugh! No way... that’s a thought! How could you hear a thought!'

"That's right, I can hear it."

'Damn! You can even hear my thoughts! Do you have no respect for human rights? You're invading my privacy!'

"As my servant, such things are unnecessary..."

'Servant? Who? Me!? When did I become your servant! You fascist old hag!'

"If you curse me again, I'll tell everyone you molested me..."

'That's a threat! That's a blatant threat! I didn't do anything!'

"Lately, I've been feeling dizzy, my head is throbbing, and sometimes I feel nauseous..."

'Hey! Wait... why are you suddenly saying this... it's too random!'

"I'm pregnant..."

'That's way too random! Pregnant with your 'beep—beep'! Even if you were, it’s too fast! Who would believe that!'

"It seems to be twins..."

'Are you kidding me! Can you even predict that? Do you think this is a bank loan?'

"Triplets..."

'Hey! It went up again! Does it come with interest? Are you running a loan shark business?'

"Quadruplets..."

"..."

"Five..."

'Fine! It’s my fault! I apologize! Everything is my fault, I’m sorry! Please, you magnanimous person, forgive this lowly servant!'

...

"Ichigo..."

"Yeah?"

"You've lost your integrity."

"..."

(Let's just pretend the above nonsense didn't happen.)

"Alright! One-on-one duel. The contest will naturally be Kendo. As long as you can defeat me, the captain, in a Kendo match, you can have everything here. Are you the one challenging me, young man?" Daisuke interrupted the 'emotional exchange' between the master and servant.

"Heh! Interesting! If you want to fight, I'm game!" Ichigo grabbed a bamboo sword and aimed it at Daisuke.

However, when Daisuke saw Ichigo's grip, he smiled with victory in his eyes. He could tell Ichigo was a complete amateur at Kendo. He himself had grown up with a bamboo sword in his hand; how could he possibly lose? At that moment, he felt as though he could already see his club manager waving at him...

"Ichigo, step back..." Just as Ichigo was about to dive into the fray, Lolita pulled him back and, amidst his confused gaze, took the bamboo sword from his hand.

"A sword style like yours, which is just like swinging a baseball bat, is no match for him at all. Just watch me!"