Volume 1, Chapter 118: Screw Your Old Hide

"Generous in words, stingy in heart"—that describes you perfectly.

While the gathered crowd was still whispering and grumbling about the Thunder Ancestor, they failed to grasp his true intention. His words had struck a nerve with a genuine powerhouse standing nearby. Among the experts brought along for this inspection, there were at least fifty who surpassed the little pig in cultivation. Take Shi Lei, for instance; had it not been for that bizarre pigsty, the little pig would have been blown to smithereens ten times over. Yet, precisely because of that strange enclosure, other powerhouses of Shi Lei’s caliber realized that even they would be unable to breach its defenses. It was no joke; how many in the Northern Polar Heavens could withstand an artifact crafted by the True Martial Emperor himself?

Among all the experts of the Thunder Department, only one person dared—and was qualified—to dismiss the True Martial Emperor. That person was the Subduer of Demons and Thunder-Clap True Lord, who served under the Thunder Sound Universal Transformation Heavenly Venerate. "True Lord" was not merely a title; it reflected his realm and supernatural powers.

True Lords were rare. How many could there be in the Northern Polar Heavens? Yang Jian, the Erlang God, was one, but that man never left the side of the Haotian Jade Emperor, serving as a professional bodyguard, and was rarely seen by anyone. This did not mean there were no beings capable of disciplining them; rather, the "True Humans" and "True Kings" more powerful than them were like dragons that show their heads but hide their tails—heaven only knew where they were hiding. Figures like Taiyi Zhenren or the Primordial True King were so elusive that even the Haotian Jade Emperor or the Ziwei Emperor might struggle to catch a glimpse of them, let alone mere small fry like these.

True Lords were different. Though they touched upon the "True" aspect, they remained millions of miles away from true enlightenment. Yet, this did not prevent them from possessing combat power far exceeding that of Emperors and Heavenly Venerates. In terms of raw cultivation and supernatural ability, even the Thunder Ancestor was a full major realm below the Subduer of Demons and Thunder-Clap True Lord. In truth, the Thunder Ancestor’s actual strength was roughly on par with General Shi Lei.

The Thunder-Clap True Lord, however, was different. He rarely took action, but if he did, he could effortlessly defeat any Heavenly Venerate; dealing with those at the Emperor level would be like bullying an infant. Originally, given his status, he would have disdained fighting the little pig. But seeing Shi Lei defeated, the Thunder Ancestor’s reputation tarnished, and the prestige of the Thunder Department extinguished, the True Lord could no longer sit idly by, even if he held the Ancestor in low regard.

The True Lord stepped forward, glancing coolly at the little pig, who was just about to pack away his pigsty: "Don't be in such a hurry, little host. Let me try and see if I can break this artifact of yours."

The little pig stood frozen. *Oh, mother,* he thought, *is he serious? A True Lord is going to step in? Have these people from the Thunder Department truly abandoned all sense of shame?*

***

Meanwhile, on the planet Tianjiang II—located near the Andromeda Galaxy—the unreliable mother of Andromeda, Cassiopeia, had finally dragged Tu Zhe and his companions to her daughter’s lair. Although Andromeda’s subordinates knew of her deep resentment toward her mother, they dared not show the slightest disrespect. After all, she was the Queen of Andromeda; even if their sovereign didn’t care for her, it wasn't their place to give her the cold shoulder.

Cassiopeia was treated with great respect, but unfortunately, Andromeda had already left to visit the host of the Wall Mansion upon his invitation. Upon hearing this, Tu Zhe realized their destinations were the same and decided they must leave immediately. Seeing his determination, Cassiopeia rolled her eyes and declared, "It’s been ages since I visited the Wall Mansion. I shall go as an uninvited guest."

Tu Zhe felt as if he were stuck to a piece of chewing gum, unable to shake her off. He felt a throbbing headache coming on. *Fine, let's go together then.*

To say that Andromeda’s mother was unreliable would be an understatement; she could be insufferably irritating. It wasn't that she lacked beauty—quite the contrary, she was remarkably well-preserved. Her skin was as smooth as satin, her muscles firm and elastic, her hair braided like hemp, her bosom high and proud, her waist slender enough to be gripped by one hand, her hips like towering cliffs, and her legs long and shapely. Combined with her fiery passion and overt charm, most men would find her irresistible.

Throughout the journey, Tu Zhe learned exactly what it meant to be "pursued." From the accidental brushes and nudges when they first boarded, to the lingering glances, the soft pressing of her cheek against his, and the interlacing of legs and electric contact of hips later on, she was relentless. She would "accidentally" touch, pinch, and stroke him, whispering in his ear and moaning, using every trick in her seductive arsenal. Tu Zhe felt his skin crawl, enough to fill three large baskets.

Doggie, meanwhile, kept pinching Tu Zhe’s arm, singing in a high-pitched voice, "A great river flows wide, wind blows the waves, stinking up both sides!" After finishing, she shrieked, "Are you done yet? Are you done yet, you lecherous brother?"

Cassiopeia covered her mouth and giggled. "Oh my, what a dog—it can curse and be jealous too? Little Zhe, have you 'mounted' this dog?"

Doggie jumped up, hands on her hips, pointing and stomping her feet. "Mount your old hag! Mount your whole family and their old hags!"

Cassiopeia was not offended. She stroked Tu Zhe’s face and breathed, "My dear, look, your dog is telling you to mount me. Are you going to?"

Tu Zhe dodged away. "Ahem... well, word has it that King Cepheus is quite the jealous type, isn't he? And that son-in-law of yours, Perseus, the Lord of Perseus, has terrifying powers. We can't afford to provoke him, so let's just leave it at that, haha..."

At the mention of Perseus, the Queen’s expression shifted, and she dared not say another word. She didn't care much for her husband, that old turtle, but she could not ignore Perseus, the Olympian God of War who had saved Andromeda and made her his wife. The Queen might be flirtatious, but she wasn't suicidal. When Perseus married Andromeda, he had warned her to behave herself. As the most flirtatious Queen and the most wretched mother-in-law in history, Cassiopeia truly dared not utter a word of dissent in front of Perseus. He was the type who would beat you so hard that even Zeus and Hera wouldn't recognize you, and you'd have to admit it was your own fault.

Thus, Tu Zhe had found her Achilles' heel. Whenever Cassiopeia became too forward, he would intentionally mention Perseus. This made Doggie clap her little paws in glee, cheering, "Oh no, oh my, Perseus is coming, tee-hee!"

Perseus—he was, quite literally, the most effective fire extinguisher.

Tu Zhe and his group hurried along, finally nearing the Wall Mansion. Just then, they encountered another group of formidable figures. This group was also headed toward the Wall Mansion, and they happened to cross paths in the sky. When people meet, stories are bound to unfold, though there was no conflict this time, as both sides were acquainted.

The approaching group was led by the Lord of the first of the thirty-two heavens, the Taihuang Huangzeng Heaven of the Northern Polar Three Enclosures and Twenty-eight Mansions—Yu Jian Yuming.