Chapter 127: Beaten into an Idiot

The baby ignored him entirely, glancing sideways with gem-like eyes. "Pfft, look at you acting all high and mighty. You want to hit me? Do you even have the strength to beat me? Oh, right, I remember seeing that sleepy little brat with a blade in my dream. You shouldn't play favorites, should you?"

As he spoke, he held out his small hand, demanding gear from Tu Zhe. Tu Zhe rolled his eyes. *Oh, so you're not listening, huh? You think I'm going to give you anything when you're being disobedient?*

Tu Zhe smirked and said, "I really don't have one! Hehe."

The baby continued, "I also dreamed that he was eating sugar beans. You should have those, right?"

Tu Zhe shook his head again. "Those... I really don't have either..."

The baby immediately pursed his lips, rolled onto the ground, kicked his little arms and legs in the air, and wailed loudly, "Waaaah! I can't go on like this! My little daddy is so biased and heartless! Oh heavens, oh earth, oh my god, what kind of world is this? Where can I go to seek justice..."

Tu Zhe crossed his arms and watched the tantrum with a smile, thinking, *Kid, let’s see how far you can take this act.*

The baby peeked through his fingers to check Tu Zhe’s expression. Suddenly feeling both ashamed and angry, he scrambled up and marched straight toward Hula Wa, shouting, "If I'm going down, I'm taking someone with me! Waaaah!"

Seeing the baby pounce on Hula Wa and reach for his throat, Tu Zhe’s face darkened. *Good grief, so I can't even discipline him now?*

He stepped forward, scooped the baby up, and glared at him. The baby didn't care at all; he stared back with fierce eyes, his nose touching Tu Zhe's, until they both looked like they were going cross-eyed. Finally, Tu Zhe gave in. He let go and said, "Go put on some clothes first, then we’ll talk."

The baby hummed and waved his hand, conjuring an orange bib to cover his small private parts. Glancing sideways, he said, "Fine, talk then! Let’s see what kind of nonsense you can come up with!"

Tu Zhe held up a finger. "First, I'm naming you Orange Wa. Any objections?"

Orange Wa nodded and shook his head simultaneously, leaving Tu Zhe confused. Orange Wa clarified, "Calling me Orange Wa is fine. Calling you 'Daddy' is the problem. I'll make a concession: I'll call you 'Little Daddy'."

Tu Zhe sighed helplessly. "Fine, have it your way. 'Little Daddy' it is."

Orange Wa immediately beamed and chirped, "Hey!"

Tu Zhe made a gesture as if to spank him, and Orange Wa stifled a laugh, waiting for him to continue.

"Second, you want a blade to play with, right?"

"Of course! If that brat has one, I need one too. If you play favorites, just you wait!"

"That's your brother, not a 'brat.' Keep calling him that and see if I don't spank you."

"Hee hee, I want a blade."

"Fine, you can have one. But I have a third condition!"

"Just say it all at once! You’re so long-winded, Little Daddy."

"Ahem. Here’s the deal: you’ll get the blade and the beans, but you have to do something for your... er, for your Little Daddy."

"Just tell me what it is! Stop dragging it out. When will you ever act like a man?"

Tu Zhe suppressed the urge to give Orange Wa a good thrashing and continued: "Beat that guy fighting your second uncle outside into an idiot! Mind you, I don't want him dead; I want him to be an absolute idiot. Can you do it? Give me an answer!"

Orange Wa rolled his eyes. "That guy named Tang Youyou, right? Little Daddy, give me the blade!"

Without a second thought, Tu Zhe focused his consciousness to the outer edges of his Alaya-vijnana. Amidst the swirling Sanskrit energy, he plucked out a blade identical to Hula Wa’s Mana Blade and tossed it to Orange Wa.

Orange Wa weighed the Mana Blade in his hand and scoffed, "What kind of junk is this? You expect me to use this piece of trash?"

Tu Zhe’s forehead throbbed with thick veins. *Are you kidding me? This blade is one-of-a-kind across the Three Realms and all the heavens, and you call it trash?*

He scowled and said, "Do you want it or not? If not, give it back. And forget about those beans!"

Orange Wa strapped the Mana Blade to his back. "Can't you take a joke? What kind of attitude is that? Fine, fine, I’m going to get the job done. So annoying. I’m off!"

With a flash of orange light, he darted out of Tu Zhe’s spiritual center. Tu Zhe’s consciousness was just about to check the situation outside when he saw Hula Wa—who was supposed to be sound asleep—open one eye and leer at him with a wicked grin.

Tu Zhe nearly cursed out loud. *Damn it, what kind of kids are these? They're awake but playing dead, and they probably watched me get pushed around by Orange Wa the whole time.*

Hula Wa scrambled up, sidled over with a cheeky grin, and said, "See, Daddy? Now you know who the good kid is, right? Orange Wa is such a brat, I don't even talk to him! Hehe. But don't be mad, Daddy, you have me, right? I'm the most obedient and well-behaved one, aren't I?"

*The most obedient? You’d probably eat dung if it were put in front of you.*

Tu Zhe didn't bother arguing with him. "Out with it—what benefits did you get?"

Hula Wa patted his bulging little belly and boasted, "Well, hehe, it’s hard to measure right now, but it’s just... you know..."

Tu Zhe made a move to hit him, and Hula Wa quickly signaled a timeout. "Wait, wait! Daddy, did you know there are tons of cultivation techniques in here? When I was sleeping, all these spells just flooded into my brain—it felt like my head was going to explode!"

"Spells? Tons of them? You think spells are like rotten cabbage? You think you can just have as many as you want?"

Hula Wa pouted. "I'm being serious! Just looking at the Yin-Yang and Five Elements techniques, there are at least thousands of them. If you break them down and rearrange them, they’re infinite! You know?"

"Are you done? If you're finished, I'm leaving. I'm not listening to you ramble about billions of techniques."

Hula Wa’s eyes lit up. "Daddy, your intelligence is truly unmatched! There really are billions of techniques! But we were just worrying—is it even useful to learn that many?"

"Wait! Say that again—who is 'we'?"

"Oh, you're my 'we'—hehe."

"Forget it. Let’s see what’s happening outside. If I’m not careful and your second uncle gets killed, I’ll have some explaining to do."

Tu Zhe didn't believe a word of Hula Wa’s nonsense, though in truth, the boy hadn't lied once. Regardless, Tu Zhe didn't have time to chat. The father and son peered out from the spiritual center at the battlefield.

While Tu Zhe had been bickering with Orange Wa, the battle had shifted. Little Pig and his two Imperial Guard commanders were being overwhelmed by Tang Youyou’s two Heavenly Venerates. Little Pig, pushed to his limit, flew into a rage.

*Damn it! If I can't beat you with skill, I'll crush you with brute force!*

Little Pig summoned the golden pigpen that the Great Emperor Zhenwu had refined for him. He ducked inside it and charged straight at the two Heavenly Venerates.