Volume One, Chapter Sixty-three: Making Old Rahu Jealous to Death

Chapter Sixty-Three: Making Old Rahu Jealous

In every possible way, Old Rahu was not an easy character to deal with.

His daughter Yueyi’s little thoughts had never really been hidden from him, either. Whenever she talked about Tu Zhe, her eyes would glaze over, sometimes soft, sometimes sparkling with light. Having seen countless women in his life, how could Old Rahu possibly not see through her?

To be honest, Old Rahu had always scoffed at that whole notion of unwavering loyalty—the so-called idea that once married, a woman must stick with her husband no matter what, but never follow a dog. What nonsense was that loyalty? Was it a crime for his daughter to like someone? That damned Indra, that little bastard, could cover the heavens and earth, kept three great beauties by his side, and on a whim would take his pleasure with more women in the Pleasure Gardens or the Garden of Delights.

Did they think Old Rahu was dead? Did they think his daughter wasn’t the most beautiful woman in all three realms? If it weren’t for that blasted “King of Benevolence Nation-Protecting Sutra” giving him a headache, did they really think he couldn’t slap Indra into submission?

If his daughter wanted to change her household, Old Rahu understood and supported her. The trouble was, it just wasn’t possible right now. He’d been stifled for years. All he wanted was a drink.

Yes, just a drink.

The problem was, the seawater here was so salty it could pickle your tongue into jerky. Any wine brewed from it was undrinkable, which was why he’d nicknamed himself “Wine-less.”

But was there truly no wine?

Now that Tu Zhe, the young emperor, had come, surely wine would follow.

Even before he arrived, the girls had told him: “Father only loves a good wine. Bring him a fine vintage and you’ll be scratching him right where he itches.”

One pot? Was that really enough? With his father’s and godfather’s bellies, it would probably take ten or twenty tons to satisfy them at one go.

But that was no obstacle. How many heavenly treasure vessels did Great Thief Mani Ashura have in his ring, vessels that could endlessly generate Celestial Suthra Wine? Say the word—how many do you need?

Tu Zhe had come to Rahu’s hall thoroughly prepared.

First, he had the girls go home early to play the family card. After all, who in creation doesn’t have feelings? Surely even a hardened old Rahu could be moved. Didn’t he know how those second-generation officials and rich kids were made? They were spoiled blind by affection, their parents having long forgotten the old saying that spoiling children is harming them. Whatever the child wanted, the child got; as long as the child was happy, that was the parent’s greatest achievement. Typical examples: Indra and Huluzhi, or Li Gang and his son. But that’s getting off topic, ha.

Second, wine can make one bold and high-spirited, or it can numb a man into an ostrich.

Those who love wine are either heroes, or cowards who can only become heroes when they’re drunk. If wine can embolden the brave and the timid alike, how could it be wrong? Given Old Rahu’s current frustration, he must be desperate for a drink. Who knew, after a few cups, he might cast off his cares, march right up to Indra and declare, “I’m going to teach the Dharma now—what are you going to do about it?”

Third... well, everyone needs one or two trump cards, don’t they?

So, when Tu Zhe and his entourage were ushered into the palace of the Ashura King, he was calm and confident, his manner graceful and poised. The young man was handsome to begin with, and his attitude was neither servile nor overbearing, his enthusiasm measured, his smile ambiguous—true or false, it was hard to say. Not only did he instantly outshine the three demonesses beside him, even Doggie looked at him doubtfully, muttering, “Is this scoundrel really just putting on a show?”

After the formalities, Yueyi’s gaze followed Tu Zhe, but every so often flickered to the three demonesses with a hint of hostility in her eyes. So, the lethal allure of Mara’s three demonesses worked just as well on women.

It wasn’t that Yueyi lacked confidence; the demonesses were simply too provocative.

One had legs like a heron, hips like a small mountain, a chest like a wild beast, eyes shooting meteors, and wore clothes so short it was as if she wore nothing at all—shameless enough to be the Lust Demoness herself!

Another looked like a little girl, giggling with an innocent air, but with curves that made her seem even more endearing—surely the Joy Demoness?

The last combined the features of both Lust and Joy, with greedy eyes shining—she must be the Greed Demoness, her avarice written all over her face.

Yueyi looked them up and down, left and right, and could find nothing to like about any of them. But her little brother was young and easily swayed; if these three decided to tempt him, could he resist?

At that moment, Doggie blurted out something that ruined the atmosphere. Blinking at Yueyi, he piped up in a childish voice:

“This is Sister Yueyi. I told Scoundrel Brother, you can’t make her your sister, and you can’t do anything else either. That would be... well, that would be wrong... and wrong is bad...”

Everyone in the palace was left speechless; Doggie was truly a treasure.

Tu Zhe rubbed his nose, cleared his throat, and changed the subject—finally getting to the point.

“Great and mighty King Mahamaha Ashura, your courage and integrity are my example; your magnanimity and broad-mindedness, my aspiration; your... um, your...”

Enough already! Could you be any more sycophantic? Rahu waved his hand to cut him off.

“If you have something to say, just say it. Here in Ashura, we don’t stand on ceremony.”

Tu Zhe placed a hand over his chest with gentlemanly grace. “As you wish.”

With a thought, a crystal goblet appeared in his hand, filled with red liquid that shimmered and sent forth an intoxicating aroma.

“Great King Mahamaha Ashura, I present you, as a junior, the finest wine, to express my admiration for you.”

The moment Rahu caught the scent, he could no longer restrain himself. He swept the goblet over, threw back his head, and drained it in one go. Only when it was empty did he sigh contentedly, watching as more wine began to generate in the heavenly treasure vessel. While waiting, he remarked, “It’s good wine, but I don’t care for your tone. Do you know what it means to be insincere?”

Tu Zhe swept his robe aside and said boldly, “I knew you were a straightforward man, King Rahu. Frankly, that insincerity just now was making me sick. So, is there enough wine?”

Rahu blinked.

It seemed... perhaps... just a little short, maybe?

With a grand gesture, Tu Zhe summoned a flood of heavenly treasure vessels with a thought, all lined up before Rahu, each brimming with Celestial Suthra Wine. At once, the palace was filled with the rich scent of spirits.

Wow—

Whoa—

Rahu’s eyes widened in disbelief at the rows of vessels, as large as lakes, as small as water jars.

Where in the world did this kid get so many treasure vessels?

Back when Indra and I fought, I lost and had to marry Yueyi off for peace. That little bastard didn’t even give me a few of these treasure vessels. If he had, would I have ever been short of wine?

But the question was: did this kid come just to give me wine? Or was he giving me the treasure vessels as well?